TOP 5 STUFF OF 2010/ALL TIME

TOP 5 THINGS YOU CAN MAKE OUT OF A POTATO

(or confessions of a potato addict)

By Zofia Ciechowska

1. Placki ziemniaczane!

A Polish dish which translates into potato pancakes (the English name is crunchless, so don't bother with it). I would eat fucktons of these as a child and I still do whenever my Polish gran makes them for me. They are dead easy to make: Peel and grate 6 large, starchy potatoes. Peel and grate a small onion. Mix both in a large bowl. Crack in 2 eggs, add 3-4 tbsp. of flour, then salt and pepper to taste. Stir well. Heat some sunflower oil in a pan, spoon thin layers of potato pancake mix into the pan, fry on both sides until crispy and golden. Drain on some paper towel and eat piping hot with a sprinkling of sea salt, or a dollop of sour cream/natural yoghurt, or with a bit of sugar like my granddad does. Now you’re basically Polish!

2. Spanish tortilla or omelette or whatever it’s called!

Fucking hell, I love this stuff so much I could probably eat it for the rest of my life and still ask for it on my deathbed. Apparently, the Spanish Civil War erupted because the Spanish could not agree whether it should be made with or without onion. I opt for onion because I am also addicted to them. The best thing about this thing is that it can be eaten hot or cold. Although I still haven’t figured out how to actually not eat this thing before it goes cold. A good recipe can be found here.

3. Patatje Oorlog!

My pre-pataje oorlog days seem like a blur. (Non-Dutch speakers, the name means chip war!) For those who don't know this rare delicacy (shame on you) this should be Holland's top export product (aside from the stroopwafel). Smothered in saté sauce and mayonnaise and a sprinkling of onion, patatje oorlog is eaten out of a flimsy plastic tray/greasy paper sleeve with one of those mini T-Rex clawed forks. Please refer to patat’s Dutch Wikipedia page for a full list of crazy Dutch chips and sauce combinations. I also like chips with salt and vinegar, so they can tie with patatje oorlog.

4. Potato stamps!

Remember these? Slice a large potato in half and carve out a shape in its flesh. Dip in poster paint and apply to paper/walls/clothes/annoyed friends and pets.

5. A Spud gun!

So I haven’t done this, but it looks so ridiculous, I had to post it here. WARNING: this could be quite dangerous…I think? Maybe make a mini one first before you move on to a potato bazooka.

The Subbacultcha Blog will be compiling a daily Top 5 of [insert serious/ridiculous category here] of 2010/all time for its followers during December! If you have any cheeky lists up your sleeve, send them over to zofia(at)subbacultcha.nl, we'd love for you to join in!